Monday, July 27, 2009

The Internet

It all began with a simple ad on craigslist.com, the site where they post anything from the sale of a small indonesian child to a personal ad for a SWM looking for someone to sing lullabies to him and rock him to sleep while he wears a diaper. Yea, you know the one.  This was where my story began and ended all in one foul swoop. 

"Looking for beautiful bikini bartenders" was what the subject heading read and being that I was a bit of a hot tamale in a two piece, I clicked on it and discovered that you don't even have to be a bartender to do the job!  That's when I should have known it was too good to be true.  You only had to wear a bikini and serve some drinks right? How hard could it possibly be?

Turned out it was a lot harder than I'd first realized to serve luke-warm beers and drinks to working class spanish men while simultaneously shaking my money maker on the bar which I was too tall to even stand up on without hitting my head on the ceiling. In one night working as a "bikini bartender", I'd managed to make $120 but alas I think the manager saw my discomfort in thrusting my private lady parts in the faces of random men and decided that he'd keep my application "on file".  Now I don't claim to be a brainiac but I know that once someone says they'll keep you "on file", it was going directly in the filing cabinet better known as the garbage.  I haven't heard from him since, and it has been almost a year. 

However, I didn't leave with merely a few dollars and a bruised head, oh no, I had spoken to one of the only men who came into the bar that was not of spanish decent and he had given me a contact for another club that was much like this one except I wouldn't have to serve drinks.  How fantastic it sounded, the idea of wearing a bikini all night, boozing it up and not really having to work and getting paid all the while!  This fancy little idea began step two of my journey into Gogo-dom.  I would go and work at the Push Lounge and make a killing doing absolutely nothing, well, that's if the equivalent of "absolutely nothing" was "everything but".  So I lay it all out here for you, as it happened and eventually we'll get caught up to happens, live feed style.

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