Preparation

In the span of the two days before Sunday I decided to become an over achiever and learn some things about the go-go game.  So I went to other clubs and what I saw was far from what I was capable as a fledging go girl.  Women walking around with this air of confidence about them that allowed them to walk up to any and all people in the club, shaking the jiggle meats in a gesture to ask for a dollar or more.  I saw a woman who must have had some experience at Auntie Anne's or something, twist herself into something I can only describe as a pretzel.  Was that sexy? Is that sexy? I had no clue but I need to take an intensive yoga class to make this madness believable.

I also noted how very bare their underparts were.  Now I don't claim to be a bush woman, one's got to keep it trim and firm down  yonder for understandable reasons but I found myself wondering if I would have to go bare to be successful.  I mean who wants a woman with hairless parts unless they have some sick and twisted fantasy of doing a prepubescent girl-child?  Yet even with this is mind I took it upon myself to make sure I was extra shaped up on saturday night.  Who knew that such a task could be so daunting? I was in the shower for almost 25 minutes before I called it quits figuring, this was as good as it was gonna get short of me shearing my uterus.  In the light, I must say it looked weird since I hadn't done that whole almost bare Hitler look in a while.  But then I started walking and the friction made me forget about all the hard work it was to get that way and I got excited all over again.

First Impressions

Upon my first visit to Push Lounge I was pleasantly surprised.  Not only was the place not some shady dive bar like the one I'd worked at for the healthy sum of one night, but it also had the advantage of a stage rather than having women teetering precariously on the bar and bumping heads on a too low ceiling.  This party was definitely going to rock.  I inquired after the manager who like apparently all managers in this business was a white man with a shiny cue bald head.  Prior to going my boyfriend and I had a very interesting conversation.  He said if he were the manager of a place that boasted the title of a "gentlemen's club" then he would certainly make sure he tried to get benefits from the girls he liked by way of fellatio.  With this in mind I was totally prepared to kick the pervert in the sack and run for the hills like Maria Von Trapp if such a proposition even came up. Luckily for me, none of that happened.  It really wasn't a dive after all. However I did have to disrobe, but thankfully there was a dressing room for that.

In the dressing room I found myself with some very interesting company.  There were two girls there, both very young and I am almost certain I heard one of them say she wished she had her blankie and Juicy Juice with her.  Now, I'm of age but only just and for me to say such things, it had to be blatantly obvious.  By the time I had changed into my corset and lace thong panties ensemble though, the girls had transformed into fresh-faced temptresses, complete with enough eyeliner and eyeshadow to make even Rupal seem conservative.  And this was my competition?  I looked like my grandma Nancy compared to them, as they were also sporting the brightest and skimpiest bikinis I'd ever seen in my life.

I walked back into the manager's office, and soon noted that I had nothing to worry about.  He looked me up and down once and not even in a lecherous way and asked me simply "When can you come in?"  This is where I had to pause.  I didn't want to seem to desperate so I made up some lie about having a night class (which I didn't) and told him I wouldn't be able to come in for another two days, till Sunday.  I don't think I knew it yet but not seeming desperate was probably the smartest thing I've ever done.

I went back into the dressing room where Jailbait 1 and Jailbait 2 were replaced with another girl but I wasn't even worried about the fact she was walking around stark naked and needed to tone up in a few key areas.  I had gotten a job as a go-go girl. Something I never thought I could do as a bookworm and here I was.  My poor little H&M panties were bursting at the seams with excitement.

The Internet

It all began with a simple ad on craigslist.com, the site where they post anything from the sale of a small indonesian child to a personal ad for a SWM looking for someone to sing lullabies to him and rock him to sleep while he wears a diaper. Yea, you know the one.  This was where my story began and ended all in one foul swoop. 

"Looking for beautiful bikini bartenders" was what the subject heading read and being that I was a bit of a hot tamale in a two piece, I clicked on it and discovered that you don't even have to be a bartender to do the job!  That's when I should have known it was too good to be true.  You only had to wear a bikini and serve some drinks right? How hard could it possibly be?

Turned out it was a lot harder than I'd first realized to serve luke-warm beers and drinks to working class spanish men while simultaneously shaking my money maker on the bar which I was too tall to even stand up on without hitting my head on the ceiling. In one night working as a "bikini bartender", I'd managed to make $120 but alas I think the manager saw my discomfort in thrusting my private lady parts in the faces of random men and decided that he'd keep my application "on file".  Now I don't claim to be a brainiac but I know that once someone says they'll keep you "on file", it was going directly in the filing cabinet better known as the garbage.  I haven't heard from him since, and it has been almost a year. 

However, I didn't leave with merely a few dollars and a bruised head, oh no, I had spoken to one of the only men who came into the bar that was not of spanish decent and he had given me a contact for another club that was much like this one except I wouldn't have to serve drinks.  How fantastic it sounded, the idea of wearing a bikini all night, boozing it up and not really having to work and getting paid all the while!  This fancy little idea began step two of my journey into Gogo-dom.  I would go and work at the Push Lounge and make a killing doing absolutely nothing, well, that's if the equivalent of "absolutely nothing" was "everything but".  So I lay it all out here for you, as it happened and eventually we'll get caught up to happens, live feed style.